During the business day, I have my local talk radio station playing in the background. I get my daily dose of Glenn Beck in the morning, and Rush Limbaugh in the afternoon. Glenn has finally started to see the light about the Civil War — it really was about States' Rights — and has talked about the disaffection so many of us are feeling. The federal government has turned into a giant ogre trampling the rights our Founding Fathers detailed in the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

Glenn joked about splitting the country in half — we conservatives take 25 states and give the liberals the other 25. I'm there! I'm a proud Southerner who has at least three ancestors who fought for the Confederacy. And I'm a big fan of States' Rights. So, as an exercise, I took a map of the United States and figured out a good split. I took several things into consideration. For starters, conservatives are more heavily represented in the South and "fly-over" country, while the Northeast, Great Lakes area, and West Coast portions of the country are dominated by liberals. I wanted to ensure both sides had contiguous land areas, with the exception of Alaska and Hawaii, of course. I also wanted each half to have both Atlantic and Pacific ports available. That was a tough requirement as I didn't consider Alaska a viable Pacific port (goods would have to be trucked through Canada). To make it work, I split California in half, giving the northern portion to the liberal side, and the southern portion to the conservatives. Technically that means the liberals get 26 to the conservatives' 25, but I like to be generous. As the conservatives get the southern half of the country, I gave the liberals Hawaii. That way they have a nice, posh place for vacations. I gave them Vegas, too, for the same reason. It also means the conservatives get the problematic Mexican border, while the liberals get the less troublesome Canadian one.

I can guarantee you, if the country were ever divided like this, the Southern U.S. would quickly rise to prominence. Controlling Alaska and the Gulf Coast, we'd have all the oil we'd need. Plus we'd get coal from West Virginia. The liberals can have their global warming concerns and concentrate on their clean energy and smart grid solutions. The Southern U.S. would be able to raise plenty of cows, pigs, and chickens. The liberals would prefer a more vegetarian fare, so I made sure they had some good states for growing crops. They even got California's wine country. While northern states made up the Rust Belt, we can certainly build factories in the south. Heck, look at how foreign auto makers built manufacturing plants in the south, away from the labor unions that have destroyed American auto makers. There will be plenty of jobs in the new Southern U.S., too. We'd start by finally building a serious wall along the Mexican border — an actual physical wall… something you can't easily defeat. Then there's the beefed up border guards. Plenty of work there, and not just on the southern border. We'll have to protect the northern border, too, because it won't be long before those in the new Northern U.S. will want to flee to our side.

We wouldn't need to draft a new constitution for the new Southern U.S. While the liberals in the north can draft a 'living' constituion, the one our founding fathers wrote will work just fine for us. And we'll keep most of the amendments, but not all of them. For instance, let's get rid of Amendment 16: "The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration." Yes, I think I'd like living in the new Southern U.S.